How to Be His Biggest Cheerleader

If women need a hero to sweep them off their feet and battle life's dragons for them, men need cheerleaders. No--the short-skirted outfits and pigtails are strictly optional, ladies. I mean what men need, usually, is a fan club, encouragement, respect, and validation.

God understands this about the men He created. Proverbs 25:24 says:

It is better to be living in an angle of the house-top, than with a bitter-tongued woman in a wide house.

Many translations say a "contentious" woman, but I think here "bitter-tongued" is more specific. And everyone knows men hate bitter-tongued (critical, nagging) wives.

What about that oh-so-holy, wonderful, rather annoying Proverbs 31 woman we are all supposed to be? In her relationship with her husband, the Bible says:

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

There you have it; she brings him good every single day! She doesn't harm him--obviously, she's isn't physically harming him. But neither is she harming his self esteem, his ego, or his sense of self-worth. She's definitely too busy working, clothing her family in scarlet, and helping the needy to criticize, nag, or verbally accost him. We can infer that this righteous woman is neither verbally abusing (name-calling, yelling, using put-downs) nor emotionally abusing (criticizing, punishing, controlling, nagging, bullying, giving the silent treatment to) this dearly loved man to whom she is bringing good, not harm, every day of her life. Verse 23 says her husband is well respected at the city gates, so we assume when she speaks of him to others, it is only with respect and admiration--building him up--or he would not be so respected in the city.

Okay, that may be stretching the verse, but the Word does say "Don't say anything that would hurt [another person]. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you" (Ephesians 4:29) and "clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12b-14). It seems God knows that His people have sensitive, tender hearts, and need to be spoken to with patience, gentleness, and kindness--even when we are correcting someone.

Men often have great egos with the world, but very small ones with their wives. Just as you want a man to sweep in and be your hero, he wants to be that hero. Men--even the most passive ones--secretly want to be the daring and valiant hero of the story. Families, society, their jobs, their wives, even their churches have taught them for long centuries to reject this side of themselves--creating men who are passive, angry, frightened, and cowardly because they do not know how else to be. Yet something in their hearts longs to be like God, longs to be the strong father and king and master and lover, longs to be wild and daring and brave.

If men can do great harm to women with their physical strength, women can do great harm to men with their words. Oh, don't misunderstand me: women and men, we want the same things! We both desire the man to be the best he can be, stronger, faster, braver, more loving, more loyal, more hardworking, better. We want the hero and he longs to be the hero. But we both secretly believe he cannot be that hero, he doesn't have what it takes, and he is just going to be a disappointment or embarrassment if he tries... and so we believe Satan's lies and do not even try. Or, if we try to encourage the men in our lives to be heroes, our way of motivating them looks a lot like criticizing, nagging, and belitting.

I am not blaming. I know most women's hearts are pure. We truly want our men to succeed, and when he won't do it on his own, and gentle encouragements don't help, we see no alternative but to 1. give up on him and do it ourselves or 2. nag him into it. Neither option is what we wanted, but those are the choices we think we have.

...Or is Satan lying again?

I believe men can be the heroes of the Bible and fairy tales. They may have to work hard, and fight their own fears, insecurities, and passive personalities, but they can do it. That is why God made them.

Just look at what God did for ordinary men in the Bible:

• Moses, who was so passive God finally got mad and gave the job to Aaron, was nonetheless given the bravery to face a king, free a nation of slaves, lead them into a barren desert, and part a sea.


• Adam, who was so passive he stood right by his wife and did not say a word while she disobeyed the only Father they'd ever known, nonetheless became the father of all humanity--his genes run in us all.


• Abraham, who was so passive and fearful he let his own wife be sexually used by another man, was nonetheless turned by God into a man who left his homeland and everything he'd known, believed on faith his barren wife would have a son, and was then brave enough to try to murder that son when God told him to.


• The youngest and most unimportant of Jesse's sons, too small to even wear a soldier's armor, nonetheless walked onto a battlefield with a trained soldier alone and had the courage to throw a rock at an armed man.


• Joseph, who in his youth was so arrogant his own family tried to kill him and them sold him into slavery, nonethess with God's help became the 2nd most important man in Egypt, a powerful and feared leader.


• Hosea, a solitary prophet, was someone given the strength to go back again and again, buying his wife back from her chosen vocation as a common prostitute, treating her with forgiveness and grace that are almost incomprehensible in his position. No doubt his heart and pride were mortally wounded that his own wife preferred a life of paid sex over him, a devout and upright man--yet he took her back and loved her anyway.


• And centuries later, Yeshua, a plain young man with no power, money, or background, was beaten, tortured, and killed--then rose three days later victorious, carrying the entire salvation of humanity on his back.

You see? God does amazing things with ordinary men. Tax collectors known for their pettiness and greed, traitors to their own people, became apostles of God Most High on earth. Paul, a nasty man who enjoyed killing and torturing innocent people in his spare time, was transformed into a man of power and prayer who singlehandedly spread Christianity throughout much of the known world.

God is a God of power and transformation. A God who defeats armies, defies kings, parts seas, rains fire upon entire populations, kills every firstborn in the country, and singlehandedly raises a dead man back to life will have no problem transforming your husband into a man like Himself--a man of power and goodness.

How can you help? By being his cheerleader! Make an effort to support him, even in his hobbies that you don't really care too much about. If you're having trouble being appreciative of him because of his many failures, try to write down a list of areas he is good in--maybe he plays with your children? gives good back rubs? makes his friends laugh? leaves generous tips? works hard at his job? attends church regularly? prays with you? throws a good curveball? can tell the difference between 5 types of beer with his eyes closed? remembers your birthday? feeds the dog? No matter how small, make a list of things he does well, is good at, or tries hard at. Make a list of times he made you smile, made you laugh, made your day happier, gave you really fabulous sex, or helped you solve a problem.

Now that you have a list of things he does well, make a goal to say something to build him up once or twice a day. Make sure it's sincere; even something small, like, "Remember that time you brought my mom flowers? That was so sweet! I was just thinking about what a sweet man you are," will make him feel appreciated. Probably it won't have any huge effects on him at first, but eventually he will feel that you are appreciating him for who he is.

Of course, if the first part of being his biggest cheerleader is saying more positive things, what is the second part? Saying fewer negative ones! This will probably be harder for you than saying positive things.

Every day, read over a Bible verse that discusses the importance of holy talk, encouragement, gentleness, kindness, patience, and lack of negativity in our dealings with each other. When you catch yourself about to say something snappy or demeaning, stop yourself and ask: do I really need to bring this up? Usually, the answer is no. If this is an important subject that actually requires you to bring up an area of his weakness, remember to focus on making it a "loving confrontation." Say only what is needed for him to understand the problem and improve; criticism, nagging, and sarcasm are not needed. Remember to "say only what is helpful for building others up" and weigh your words by this standard.

If you fail sometimes, that's okay; you're human! Just learn from your slip-up and try not to make the same mistake again. Tell your husband how much you love and respect him. Give him reasons you respect him, remind him of why you first fell in love with him, and point out things he does well. Make sure he knows you notice the times he succeeds and he feels you are his biggest cheerleader. The more he feels you are on his side, the more he is going to want to become that Godly, heroic man for you! And in that situation, everyone wins.

The Five Levels of Communication

While researching marriage and engagement, I found an article on the five levels of communication in relationships. Needless to say, communication is one of the most important things in a relationship, and making sure you and your partner can operate at the highest levels of communication is probably one of the best things you can do for your relationship.

1. Cliche. This level is very basic. It's the small-talk stage. "Hello, how are you, what did you do today?" No important or personal information is given or shared.
2. Fact. Here you are sharing factual information with your partner. You are telling him what happened, the order of events, or other information.
3. Opinion. In this level, you share your thoughts and opinions. You might discuss politics, religion, or just your thoughts on something going on in your relationship.
4. Emotion. This higher level of emotion means you are no longer sharing only facts and opinions (impersonal) but now sharing your feelings and emotions as well (personal). You are expressing your emotions to your partner and letting her know that you are angry, sad, confused, lonely, or jealous. This lets your partner know you on a better, deeper level than when you only share your opinions about a situation.
5. Transparency. This is the highest level of communication! Here, nothing is held back. You are completely open and honest, holding nothing back. At this level, both partners reach total vulnerability. No emotions or thoughts are minimized or kept to yourself at this stage, but you share every inner part of you as it occurs.

Obviously, in a marital relationship you want to aim for reaching (and staying at!) level five. The bulk of your relationships should operate around levels four and five. If this is not happening, you should make time to sit with your partner and discuss how you can better achieve level five in your relationship. Is one of you stuck at level 3 or 4? Why? How can you help each other pass this, and to the level of utter trust and vulnerability?

To see the original article at About.com, click here.

Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Communication before marriage is a big indicator of how well you will communicate and solve problems after marriage. If you are contemplating a serious relationship or engagement, take the time to answer these questions and ask your partner to do the same.

1. Do you want to have children? How many? How far apart? How soon into the
marriage? Will you use birth control? What kind? How would you deal with
unexpected pregnancy? Do you want to adopt? When?

2. How will you deal with money? How much should you tithe and save? What
should savings go to? What will extra money go to? Will you loan to friends and
family who need it? Will you invest, and in what? Who will be in charge of
paying bills? Should you talk with each other about all purchases, or purchases
over a certain limit? Will you have some money you can use on your own,
independently, and how much? Do you have any personal savings or debt you will
bring into the marriage? How will you handle that as a couple?

3. How often do you want to have sex? How will you deal with times when you
cannot or do not have sex (pregnancy, menstration, childbirth, separation, low
libido, illness, marital problems)? Can you talk about fantasies and desires?
What are your beliefs on kinky sex, sadomasochism, dirty talk, masturbation,
porn, swinging? Can you talk about your sex life with friends and family or will
it be completely private? What will you do when one of you wants to have sex but
the other does not? How will you handle sexual dysfunction, like inability to
orgasm, lack of pleasure during sex, or inability to get aroused?

4. What will your relationship be with your in-laws? Will you spend equal
time with them both? Where will you spend holidays? How much will you visit? How
close or far do you want to live from them? How involved will they be in your
children's lives? How will you handle disagreements with them? How often will
you talk to them on the phone? How will you keep boundaries with them in the
areas of finance, marital issues, raising children, visits, and phone calls?
What happens when they become old or ill? Will they live with you? Will you move
closer? Will you use a nursing home? Who will pay for it?

5. Who will do the cleaning? Who will do which chores? Will you have a set
schedule for cleaning or chores? How clean do you want the house to be? Is one
of you a neat freak and the other not? How will you hande this?

6. How do you want to spend your days off? What activities will you have
(outside of work) that will take time away from each other? How much time will
you spend on indivual activities, hobbies, clubs, and with old friends?

7. What about drugs and alcohol? How often do you drink? How often do you
smoke? How often do you believe it is acceptable to smoke pot? What about
prescription pill abuse? Harder drugs?

8. Do you have anger management problems? Have you ever hit someone? Yelled
at them? Thrown things? Given hours and days of silent treatment? Done things to
"punish" someone? How will you become healthier? What will you do if you want to
go to counseling, but your partner does not?

9. What does fidelity mean to you? Is it okay to fantasize about having sex
with someone else? Is it okay to flirt with other people? Kiss or hug? Is it
okay to have close friends of the opposite sex? What about spending alone time
with these friends?

10. What do you think we'll be doing in 30 or 40 years? What are our goals?
How will one of us be taken care of if the other dies? What about serious
illness and insurance coverage? What goals do you have for us in 5 years? 10?
20? 30? 40?

Also, please take time before your marriage to discuss your values: Do you think one parent should stay home to raise the kids? Who? If not, who will watch them? How strict will you be as a parent? What happens when one of you wants to move or change jobs and the other doesn't? How will you handle disagreements about parenting styles? What about when one of you wants to make a big purchase and the other does not? What if one of you wanted to change churches or denominations? Do you agree on major religious beliefs and values? How will you handle minor disagreements?

From Top Ten Marriage Dealbreakers

Thoughts on Forgiving One Another

The following is an editorial I wrote on forgiveness in March 2007.

For the last few hours, forgiveness has been on my mind. What exactly is forgiveness? How can I forgive when I can't forget? I know that as Christians, we are forgiven for all we do. We come to God, we say we're sorry, and God casts it away. He completely forgets about it. It never comes up again. One of my favorite quotes was given to me by a friend's Mom when, in high school, I was confused about whether my forgiven sins are still going to be held against me on judgment day. She quoted this verse to me, and I have loved it ever since: "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." When I am feeling bummed about something I did or one of my many failures, I remember this verse.

Another "big" moment in my road to learning about God's forgiveness was a sermon at a Protestant church. The pastor talked about how God completely forgets our sins once we have repented and asked forgiveness. He said that we come to God, groaning, "Oh, God! I have sinned AGAIN!" and that God simply replies, "Again?" To God, there is no again. He has chosen to forget, and so to Him, this is the first time we have ever sinned and the last as well. Lori once told me that when God looks at us, He doesn't see our sins. He sees Jesus. He sees Jesus in us, covering up our sins, and so when he looks at us He sees only perfection and love.
My friend also has a song which I really like, called Ocean Floor. The lyrics are so simple, but I believe they are based on a bible verse. To quote http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/audioadrenaline/oceanfloor.html:

They're all behind you

They'll never find you

They're on the ocean floor

Your sins are forgotten

They're on the bottom

Of the ocean floor

"If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness." Psalm130:3-4

But I digress. I have lately been deep in thought about the matter of human forgiveness. Alexander Pope says, "To err is human, to forgive is divine." What does forgiveness mean when neither the offender nor the forgiver is divine? Suddenly what is easy with God becomes much harder with man. How do I forgive when I keep thinking about it? What if they don't even think they are wrong? What if they never admit they're wrong and they never apologize? What if they do it 20 more times? Am I obligated to forgive everyone for everything, or when is it just better to cut my losses and seek out healthier relationships with growing, striving Christians? (Because sometimes our parents and friends are abusive, cold, or wrong, and will never change.) Sometimes forgiving seems a lot easier for Jesus than it is for us.

I admire God deeply for His forgiving nature. It is one of the things I most respect about Him. Really. There are so many things about God that I want to be. I really respect those things about Him. He is strong, He is smart, He is capable, He is forgiving, He is loving. If Jesus were a man on earth he would be one pretty amazing guy. All the girls would want him. :) And I have read books that say every Christian woman is looking for a guy who embodies Jesus' good qualities. Heck, look at my list of God's qualities. What girl doesn't want a guy who has those, too? For that matter, what guy doesn't want a girl who embodies those? But that is a whole different topic. :)

But anyway, if I had to pick one thing I just really admire most about God, it would be His forgiveness. That is just something we humans cannot do well. We struggle and struggle with it. If I did to any human what I've done to God, they would have given up on me a long time ago. Yet God never does. I really respect that quality.So I am struggling right now with the issue of forgiveness. (Before all you analytical people start doing this whole A=B, B=C, then A=C thing in your heads, haha, let me just state that this has nothing to do with one issue or one person. I have just been mulling this over in my mind.) :) So today I have been looking it up a bit online. And I think there are some really good things out there. Definitely worth sharing.


"By the act of forgiveness we release the other person from a debt, an obligation to make whole something that has been injured or taken from us, whether in terms of property or from ourselves, in terms of our identity or self worth or our relationships with other persons. So, to begin with, "I forgive you" means, "I release you."To forgive another, we must be able to believe and decide that:
• The hurt was not intended, or
• It was motivated by a misunderstanding or an error.
• The offender is sorry, and
• Understands his or her acts, and
• The offender will make a sincere attempt to change and not hurt us in the same manner again in the future.

To forgive, we must:
1. Relieve the other person of their obligation to us for their hurting us.
2. Resist the temptation to bring up the offence again, unless it happens again.
3. Assist, the offender, either passively or actively, to make the adjustments that will be necessary to fulfill the intent of their apology.
4. Acknowledge changed behavior and attitudes, when growth has occurred.
http://www.drcomeau.com/Forgive-And-Be-Forgiven.htm by Dr. A. Comeau

In many situations, there is a desire for forgiveness and a desire to forgive -- a mutual desire for restoration. What most often gets in the way of restoration -- of forgiving and being forgiven -- is the inability to forget. Trust is broken, resulting in pain and anger. There is both a desire to ease the pain, and an impulse, arising out of the anger, to punish -- which merely perpetuates the pain. There is an assumption that, for all to be forgiven, all must be forgotten.

We must first understand that it is not necessary to forget in order to forgive. What is necessary is to remove from the other the consequences of what the other has done. This is a useful understanding because it gives us something we can actually do, something that, unlike forgetting, is actually within our power to do-- and it makes clear what the real limitations on forgiveness are.


If forgiveness is the removal of consequences, not all things can be forgiven. Not all things should be forgiven. We should not expect forgiveness to remove all pain. And forgiveness is not a momentary act. Forgiveness is a process attempting to restore a relationship, to renew a covenant.


And so this is what I think saying "I forgive you" means: "I do not wish my life to remain separated from your life. I want us to restore our relationship, to make a new covenant, to grow toward a new place of faith and trust."
http://www.uuca.org/sermon.php?id=46 by Dr. E. Frost


"I forgive you" means you're still wrong. --L.B. Gresham


Forgiveness is the miracle of a new beginning. It is to start where we are, NOT WHERE WE WISH WE WERE. It is to want to renew a friendship; to want a new relationship with husband, father, daughter, friend, or indeed enemy. It may not take away the hurt. It does not deny the past injury. It does not ignore the possibility and need for repentance and a change in the relationship.It means that I am willing to have a relationship with the other party that is based on Christian love and not on what has happened in the past, if the response of the other person makes that possible.


Two New Testament words we translate "to forgive" mean literally "to let go" and "to cancel a debt". I found that at times the phrase "I forgive you" seemed empty, so I said, "I release you. I let you go. I let go of this offence. I cancel your debt. You owe me nothing now. I renounce my desire to get even with you." That way, the imagery of this biblical language filled the word "forgiveness" with a more specific and concrete meaning. Of course, it is always on the cards that reconciliation may be impossible because of the unwillingness of the other party to be reconciled or to admit any fault in the matter. However, I am not responsible for their actions, only my own.
http://www.christianity.co.nz/forgive3.htm

(End of quotes)

One of the most profound things that changed my thinking on forgiveness was from a book on Christian marriage (probably the area in life where the most forgiveness is going to be necessary!). I cannot remember the entire quote, but it was basically this:

"I forgive you means: I will not hold this against you any more. I will not bring this up again to you or anyone else. I choose to believe that what you did is not the person you are."

Probably the hardest part of that is to not bring it up again to the person or anyone else. It is so tempting to forgive them only UNTIL they screw up again. Then, when they make the mistake for the second (or thirty-second) time, those old hurts come up again, and we want to say, "Ah-HA! You did it AGAIN!" God does not do this. But we humans do. God says, "Again? What do you mean again?" Humans say, "I knew it! I knew you'd do this again!" Which is why I really believe Alexander Pope may have had the right idea when he said that to forgive is divine. I simply cannot forgive on my own strength. Too much of me is hurting, or sad, or shocked, or resentful, or angry. Even when our minds want to forgive, our emotions are powerful enemies. They take over our logic and when our brain is throwing quotes from the Bible telling us to forgive, our hurt emotions completey drown it out. Yet God does not do this. How can we? It is a divine gift to forgive like that. It is God working in us. I think the hardest thing for lots of people (including me!) is to go to God for restoration, not the person who hurt us. The first tendency for a human is to go to this person and say, "You hurt me. Please make it right again." Often, the other person can't or won't. They are only human too. They are hurting as well. They don't know how to make you whole. The correct answer is, of course, to go to God for restoration instead. "Lord, my mom hurt me. She took something away from me. But she can't give it back. Can You give it back to me instead? Help me." But this is hard. This is what I think Dr. Comeau means when he says we release the person of their obligation to us. It is so hard to do, but that is his advice. Don't go to them with your broken heart and ask them to make it right. Decide, out of the kindness of your own heart, to free them from any responsibility to make you feel better. Go to God to make you feel better instead.


Is this always possible? Is this always wise? I don't know. But I think that is what he is saying. Of course, I'm thinking out loud. I do not believe that writing a facebook note about forgiveness is going to help. I think the best thing for me to do is pray. To pray for myself about this. To pray for my friends and family. To pray that all of us will learn to forgive, maybe never to forget, but to at least forgive, clear the slate, and move on. And two days later, when the same thing comes up again, to do it again. And again. And again.


For those of you that are praying people, please pray for me as well. That I will get better at this. That I will grow at this. One of the most powerful things anyone has ever said to me, and again, this is from a beautiful and wonderful Christian woman, was when I came to her, hurt and depressed over something horrible I had done. I expected her to be horrified, or disappointed, and to let me know how awful it was. Instead, my beautiful Christian friend showed me God's heart. She told me:

"I don't care what you did. I know your heart, and that is not you. That is not who you are."

She was the first person (but not the last! And for that, thanks to many of my beautiful and wonderful friends and family) who ever saw a beautiful heart still existed behind my sin and failures. She choose not to worry about the failures. She choose to look past and see the heart, and to let me know she saw such good things in me. Can we do this for each other? "I know your heart, and that is not you. That is not who you are."

"But where sin increased, grace increased all the more." Romans 5:20

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" 2 Corinthians 12:8

Carpe Diem

Below, find an editorial I wrote after in July 2006.

I am so sick of people being cautious. Cautious, safe, guarded. It is no way to live. It is passively living, trying desperately to control circumstances outside of your control, to guard against things that can’t be guarded against, and to shut out experiences that maybe shouldn’t be shut out.

Cautious people—including me—are the wusses who let life go by while we are hoping it will come round again later. Ugh.

Now that I have been on the opposite side of this—with Bobby—I do not like cautious people. Life rarely throws you a gift this great. Do you think you can let it go by and that it will actually come around again? We have a finite number of chances to love, to live, to laugh, to learn. Carpe diem and all that. If you pass up a chance—well, you’d better be darn sure it was an experience worth passing up.

Think you are in love? Found someone who is a wonderful, rare gift? Don’t give them up by saying “I want to wait til I’m more mature.” The only way to get more mature is to jump in headfirst, scared and terrified and unprepared though you are. To learn and grow together. That person will probably never be available to you again, and you’ve just lost them—to what? To fear and insecurity.

Offered your dream job? Don’t pass it up because you feel underprepared or under-qualified. Don’t wait until you’ve got more experience. Dive in and get the experience as you go. Better to stumble around the dance floor than never dance at all.

Want to act, sing, or dance? Don’t pass it up to become something mature and secure like a teacher, doctor, or a lawyer instead. Screw the money and security and do what you want to do. Act, sing, and dance. You will not be young forever. God shapes our hearts so we are fit to a mold, and if we try to deny that mold, we’ll be fighting it unhappily for the rest of our lives.

Want to travel? Go. Want to learn a language? Sign up for classes. Want to make up with a friend? Write him today. Want to tell someone you love him? Tell him today. Life is not meant to be passed up, saved away til later, or approached with caution. It flies by, and opportunities whisk past and never come again. Sure, exercise cautioun and restraint, prudence even---but do not be passive. Do not let life happen to you. Happen to it.

Love is scary and terrifying. It is meant to be that way. It is a risk. You will get hurt. There is no way to guard against this. But do you really want to sit idly on the bleachers and never experience it at all? Hearts heal. Minds renew. God is powerful and faithful—he will get you through whatever heartache life throws your way. Trust in him, lean on him, and trust in yourself. You are strong enough to handle the pain when it comes, and you will survive. Rest in peace knowing that when the storm comes, you can handle it, and you will make it through. It doesn’t mean it won’t be hard, and you won’t have regrets, and it won’t be awful. It might. But rest in peace knowing it will end and you will be all right when it does.

Sadly, much of life is a “limited time only!” offer. Rush in and get yours today. Live while you have life. Enjoy love while you can. Don’t be scared of it and back off, afraid you’ll get burned. You will get burned. It is not a fear you need to have, not something you need to worry about, “Will I or won’t I get burned?” The answer is yes, you will. Go ahead and do it anyway. It will hurt just as much if you don’t take advantage of it, but at least this way you’ve got the joy and good memories to see you through it.

You will get hurt. You will be betrayed. Your heart will be broken. Your dreams will be crushed. You will have bad days. People will let you down. You will make mistakes. But you will be happy.

And it will be worth it.

Carpe diem.