When God Speaks to Us Through The TV

Has God ever spoken to you through non-traditional means?

He has to me.

Sure, I've had answers seemingly appear after prayer. I've received guidance through a well-timed "coincidence" with a Christian song, Bible verse, Christian self-help book, or advice from a Christian friend. We expect answers to come through these means.

But I've also had other little signs from God. A butterfly floating past, reminded me that life is good and beautiful in the midst of a worry session. A stranger in the airport who gave me a guardian angel pin. And today, a soap opera.

I believe it was Days of Our Lives. I don't watch soap operas so I'm not really sure.

Last night, my husband and I had a long talk about codependency. I don't want to be as needy as I can be around him. I worry that will amount to emotional abuse. Codependency. Enmeshment. All those nasty, ugly words counselors always used to describe my relationship with my mother. Only this time, instead of being the victim, I would be the abuser.

No, thank you. I'd rather be safe and cautious. I don't want to be so needy and clingy that I suck my husband dry til he's an emotional shell. All those books and websites tell you that to be "healthy" you need to:

• have your own friends


• have your own sense of identity


• have your own, separate hobbies


• spend some time apart


• meet your own needs


• rely on God and your support system and not just your spouse

My husband really doesn't hang out a lot with his friends anymore. We hang out together. A lot. And we hang out with mutual friends and family sometimes.

My husband says he wants me to bear my soul. He wants me to be as needy and emotionally open as I want.

I worry I will put too much of a burden on him. I don't want to be unhealthy. How do married couples find the balance that works for them?

Today, my dad had left his tv on when he left for work. When I woke up, soap operas were on. I was a little amused, but I turned the tv off because I hate background noise. I turned on my computer and got engrossed. A few minutes later, I realized the tv was still on. Sometimes the remote doesn't work and that happens. I let the soap operas run. They were quiet and not bothering me.

A character--I'm sure she has a name and a detailed backstory-- was having prom with her boyfriend in her hospital room. Apparently, he'd created a prom for her since she couldn't go. Sweet.

I tuned in somewhere when she started telling him that she needed to give him more space. She was saying things that sounded a lot like me. I don't want you to feel too claustrophobic. Other boys say they need more space. They want to be their own person. I don't want to need you so much that I push you away. I don't want you to feel like you can't have your own life.

Suddenly, I was entranced. What was the boy on the tv going to say?

"Whew. You're right, I have been feeling really suffocated, but I didn't want to say anything because you're so sick?"

Nope.

Anonymous, fictional character that he was, he smiled at his girlfriend and said, "Those guys sound like jerks."

He explained to her that he was happy with her. He said he was needy, too. (Honestly, I'd feel a lot better about being needy if my husband would be needy, too, but he's not really.) He said he didn't need space from her and he loved that she was straightforward and didn't play hard to get, but was honest and upfront about her feelings. He said he preferred that to games.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't a Sign From God. But it did make me feel better.

A little.

Until I started thinking again about all the terrible emotional damage I could do to my husband with my neediness. What if, like my mother, I have narcissism and a Borderline Personality Disorder? What if I ruin his life? He only has this one life to live. I want him to enjoy it. I want him to be able to have his own friends and hobbies and "days with the guys" but when it comes down to it, I feel too insecure and jealous.

The Bible tells us not to worry. Maybe I should just work on that.