Your Desire Shall Be For Your Husband

Today I'd like to talk about Genesis 3:16. It's in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve have just sinned by eating the forbidden fruit, and God is pronouncing his judgment on them. Specifically, this verse is directed toward Eve as part of her punishment (the other part of her punishment is pain in pregnancy and childbirth). Here are several translations of this verse:

• Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. (NIV)
  



• And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." (New Living Translation)
  



• Yet, you will long for your husband, and he will rule you." (God's Word Translation)
  



• Thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (King James Version)
  



• Still your desire will be for your husband, but he will be your master. (Bible in Basic English)
  



• Thou shalt be under thy husband's power, and he shall have dominion over thee. (Douay-Rheims Bible)

Let's explore this verse more. What exactly does "desire for your husband" mean? Why does Adam now rule over her? Here's what some commentators have to say on this subject.

Barnes' Notes on the Bible:

The woman had taken the lead in the transgression. In the fallen state, she is to be subject to the will of her husband. "Desire" does not refer to sexual desire in particular. Genesis 4:7. It means, in general, "turn," determination of the will. "The determination of thy will shall be yielded to thy husband, and, accordingly, he shall rule over thee." The second clause, according to the parallel structure of the sentence, is a climax or emphatic reiteration of the first, and therefore serves to determine its meaning. Under fallen man, woman has been more or less a slave. In fact, under the rule of selfishness, the weaker must serve the stronger. Only a spiritual resurrection will restore her to her true place, as the help-meet for man.

Clarke's commentary:

Though at their creation both were formed with equal rights, and the woman had probably as much right to rule as the man; but subjection to the will of her husband is one part of her curse; and so very capricious is this will often, that a sorer punishment no human being can well have, to be at all in a state of liberty, and under the protection of wise and equal laws.

Gill's exposition:

And thy desire shall be to thy husband, which some understand of her desire to the use of the marriage bed, as Jarchi, and even notwithstanding her sorrows and pains in child bearing; but rather this is to be understood of her being solely at the will and pleasure of her husband; that whatever she desired should be referred to him, whether she should have her desire or not, or the thing she desired; it should be liable to be controlled by his will, which must determine it, and to which she must be subject, as follows:

And he shall rule over thee, with less kindness and gentleness, with more rigour and strictness: it looks as if before the transgression there was a greater equality between the man and the woman, or man did not exercise the authority over the woman he afterwards did, or the subjection of her to him was more pleasant and agreeable than now it would be; and this was her chastisement, because she did not ask advice of her husband about eating the fruit, but did it of herself, without his will and consent, and tempted him to do the same.

Wesley's commentary:
She is condemned to a state of sorrow and a state of subjection: proper punishments of a sin in which she had gratified her pleasure and her pride.

Matthew Henry's Commentary:

She is here put into a state of subjection. The whole sex, which by creation was equal with man, is, for sin, made inferior, and forbidden to usurp authority, 1 Tim. 2:11, 12. The wife particularly is hereby put under the dominion of her husband, and is not sui juris-at her own disposal, of which see an instance in that law, Num. 30:6-8, where the husband is empowered, if he please, to disannul the vows made by the wife. This sentence amounts only to that command, Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; but the entrance of sin has made that duty a punishment, which otherwise it would not have been. If man had not sinned, he would always have ruled with wisdom and love; and, if the woman had not sinned, she would always have obeyed with humility and meekness; and then the dominion would have been no grievance: but our own sin and folly make our yoke heavy. If Eve had not eaten forbidden fruit herself, and tempted her husband to eat it, she would never have complained of her subjection; therefore it ought never to be complained of, though harsh; but sin must be complained of, that made it so. Those wives who not only despise and disobey their husbands, but domineer over them, do not consider that they not only violate a divine law, but thwart a divine sentence.
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It's important to remember that the woman's subjection to her husband was a punishment brought about due to her sin. The man also sinned and was given his own punishment. In both cases, God made the punishment fit the crime: the man showed he was passive, so God took away his leisure time and made him work. The woman showed she was headstrong, so God took away her freedom and made her submissive.

In Jesus, the old punishments were not completely revoked (women still have great pain in childbirth, and men still must toil over the land), but He did bring about a new life and a new covenant. I think this is why in Ephesians 5 and Titus 2, Paul says that women are still under men's authority but also exhorts their husbands to love and care for them, even laying down their lives for them. Suddenly, the man's role as leader changed from a tyrant to a Christlike leader. As such, I don't think you can make a Biblical case for husbands to be overbearing tyrants to their wives, because we are under a new covenant with Jesus as the author.