Etiquette with your Loved One or Spouse

I'm always amazed by the rudeness I see people exhibit toward the people they profess to most love and respect. If you can't treat your spouse or loved one with respect, it shows a severe lack of character.

Of course, most people aren't rude on purpose: they are rude because they don't know any better. I'm fixing that with this post. :)

An extreme example of rudeness is one I was horrified to watch one day after a floating trip. A sun-burnt and shirtless man, probably drunk after his alcoholic float down the river, was telling his girlfriend (wife?) off in a voice loud enough for me to hear and be appalled from 10 feet away. The conversation went something like this:

You know what? You're a stupid b**** and a c***. Go, I don't give a damn if you go. I'll just go home and if your s*** isn't there, I'll take it you've moved out, you stupid c***."

First off, you should never fight when you're tipsy or drunk. Drunk people are emotional, angry, violent, and sensitive. Deep conversations and fights should always be reserved for calm, sober times. Second, you never call your loved one those names. Sure, I might call my husband a jerk every once in a while, but we should never curse at our loved ones. If you do, take some time to think about your temper and work on controlling it. Words that take seconds to say will be remembered for years. Third, we should never threaten to leave or try to force the other one to leave. This is a controlling tactic ("Do it my way or else") and it isn't fair to the other person, no matter how tempting it may be (I know I try it periodically!).

Of course, I also have Christian friends who would never curse or yell at their girlfriends, but are still not polite toward them.

Men, you are with a lady, a sister in Christ, and a holy vessel of God's spirit. Treat her with respect and dignity. Ladies, you are with a warrior and a servant, a brother in Christ, your leader, provider, and protector. Society may be trying to confuse gender roles, but that is the way God created us.

Here are some basic courtesy and etiquette rules for interaction when dating or married:

1. Always say "please" and "thank you," even after years of dating when you know your request will be granted.
2. Acknowledge your loved one's presence when he or she returns home or enters a room.
3. When you get up to get yourself something, ask if your loved one would like anything as well.
4. Men open doors, double doors, and car doors for women.
5. Men seat women first, pulling out her chair if he so desires, and waiting until she is fully seated to seat himself.
6. Women order first at restaurants, OR the man orders for both of them, giving her order first.
7. Men should always assist the woman with taking off and putting on her coat.
8. The man should always walk on the outside of the street.
9. The woman allows him to enter buildings first. He leads the way into a store, through a restaurant, or into a movie theatre. Once he has chosen (or been shown) their seat, he stands aside to let her pass and allow her to be seated first.
10. Men should offer to help carry heavy loads without being asked.
11. Women should not dominate the conversation; neither should men. Share the spotlight!
12. Neither partner should share details of fights, relate stories that make the other person look bad/foolish, or share personal details of the partner's private life without asking (this includes medical issues, job issues, medications, family matters, etc.).

Treat your loved one with respect and courtesy!