The Five Levels of Communication

While researching marriage and engagement, I found an article on the five levels of communication in relationships. Needless to say, communication is one of the most important things in a relationship, and making sure you and your partner can operate at the highest levels of communication is probably one of the best things you can do for your relationship.

1. Cliche. This level is very basic. It's the small-talk stage. "Hello, how are you, what did you do today?" No important or personal information is given or shared.
2. Fact. Here you are sharing factual information with your partner. You are telling him what happened, the order of events, or other information.
3. Opinion. In this level, you share your thoughts and opinions. You might discuss politics, religion, or just your thoughts on something going on in your relationship.
4. Emotion. This higher level of emotion means you are no longer sharing only facts and opinions (impersonal) but now sharing your feelings and emotions as well (personal). You are expressing your emotions to your partner and letting her know that you are angry, sad, confused, lonely, or jealous. This lets your partner know you on a better, deeper level than when you only share your opinions about a situation.
5. Transparency. This is the highest level of communication! Here, nothing is held back. You are completely open and honest, holding nothing back. At this level, both partners reach total vulnerability. No emotions or thoughts are minimized or kept to yourself at this stage, but you share every inner part of you as it occurs.

Obviously, in a marital relationship you want to aim for reaching (and staying at!) level five. The bulk of your relationships should operate around levels four and five. If this is not happening, you should make time to sit with your partner and discuss how you can better achieve level five in your relationship. Is one of you stuck at level 3 or 4? Why? How can you help each other pass this, and to the level of utter trust and vulnerability?

To see the original article at About.com, click here.