How to Woo a Woman: Courageousness

To be a leader (which you as a man made in the image of God are called to do; see Ephesians 5), you must be courageous. To woo a woman, win her heart, and risk the rejection and hurt you will surely face, you must be brave. To be successful at your job, parenting, and relationships, you must be fearless. Life takes courage, my friend.

Life takes courage. This is true of women--who must be fearless helpmeets, friends, mothers, wives, and daughters--but it is especially true of men, who are made like their Maker to be the doers, the conquerers, the warriors, the leaders, and the risktakers.

In a woman's heart is great strength, but there is also great vulnerability. We long to find someone to take care of us, from our fathers to our husbands. We long to be treasured, cherished, adored, and protected so we can better use our own strength to serve God and raise our children. And so to woo the woman of your dreams, you need to step proudly into the role God has made for you: as the leader and protector of your family, you need to show courage.

God makes this clear for the men He designates to be leaders. When Moses handed over his leadership role to Joshua--a young man who now had to lead the entire rebellious Israelite nation into years of hardship and war--he made this clear:

Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all
Israel, "Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the
land that the LORD swore to their forefathers to give them, and you must
divide it among them as their inheritance. The LORD himself goes before
you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be
afraid; do not be discouraged." -Deuteronomy 31: 7-9

As you lead your own wife and family into the unknown of the future, read these words and picture God saying them encouragingly to you.

Joshua 1:9 says:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not
be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

When you have a battle or struggle ahead of you, remember God's words to Joshua:

The LORD gave this command to Joshua son of Nun: "Be strong and courageous, for
you will bring the Israelites into the land I promised them on oath, and I
myself will be with you."-Deuteronomy 31:23

As the new Christians in Corinthians struggled to get their lives and souls in order after Jesus' death, Paul exhorts them:

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. -1 Corinthians 16:1

Peter, the friend and follower of Jesus, reminds Christians that we must view our struggles and weaknesses differently than the Gentiles, having courage and putting our faith in God:

Do not fear what they fear ; do not be frightened. -1 Peter 3:14

When you are confronted by a frightening dilemma or overpowering situation, remember that you have been given a position of authority by your Heavenly Father. Remember the words of Ezra and take heart:

Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take
courage and do it." -Ezra 10:4

What about the times that you, the leader, are sure of your course and purpose, but perhaps your wife or friends are afraid to follow you? While women are wonderous creatures who show the loving, tender nature of God, they are often to prone to worry, anxiety, panic, and fear. Their fear may not only freeze themselves but your efforts at leadership as well.

In this case, use your own courage (based on God's strength, not your own) to encourage them:

"... say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you." --Isaiah 35:4

What if people (or events) are frightening you? What if you do not know what to do or say, and your leadership skills have been exhausted? Just take a moment to stop and think: what, exactly, are you afraid of here? Who are you afraid of? What are you afraid they'll do? What's the worst that could really happen? Perhaps you'll lose your job, lose a friend, or cause a conflict. Luckily, none of those are life-changing or death-inducing circumstances! When you consider it that way, it is easy to remember the Lord's words:

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? -Psalm 27:1

If you're still afraid and unsure, take it back to the the Cross:

I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my
fears. -Psalm 34:4

In the end, the way to win a woman is to show courage. Women--and men--are inspired by courage. They want a fearless Prince Charming who will love her and protect her fearlessly.